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About Deviant two quarters & a heart downFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
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pixel fringe by JadedOptimist pixel fringe :iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 0 0
dream sequence
I dream of jellyfish in toilets in semi-abandoned houses where we play like gleeful children and pretend to be surviving. I dream of you wearing my ring and me wearing yours, even though we already got them for each other. We lay together, intertwined under a yellow sodium streetlight superimposed over the flaking walls and watch B-movies on an old tv. When we close our eyes, the ceiling disappears and the canopy of stars winks at us as if to say 'there is a reason you are here.' Ideally, I would love to photograph this scene but I find myself leaving my camera on the nightstand and snuggling up close to you. Except for my trips to the bathroom to pray to the moon jelly. We eat heroes out of cans with bent spoons and tineless forks, savoring the flavor of Batman before we swallow down the dream.
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two particles
Acceleration of two particles
Towards an end in the distance:
Fission, fusion, or just an explosion?
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I keep spinning around in circles like I did when I was five. But somehow, it feels as though the world itself has stopped spinning. I'm dizzied; I'm confused. I wobble, but I don't fall over yet. I feel I must keep standing, even though my knees are begging me to let them buckle.
I spin some more, and then I give in. I fall. The sky looks so beautiful and I wish to get lost in it. The dizzying twists of stars and clouds in my muddled mind make me feel as though the world is spinning too fast now.
I lay back and let the sensation abate. Then, I stand and spin again.
I close my eyes and let the momentum take me away, beyond all rhyme and reason and thoughts and stars, until all that is left is a spinning girl. There will always be confusion, and that dizzying feeling that accompanies my loss of control, but as long as I can spin under a starry night sky, I am alive.
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self-conclusion hoodie by JadedOptimist self-conclusion hoodie :iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 0 4
I page through old photo albums,
digitally captured pixilated love that I’ll never feel again.
old songs that remind me of bygone days play over and over,
reminding me I’ll never feel quite the way I did that night.
the night the windowpane fell away
we realized the world outside wasn’t just imperfect,
it had invaded our happy household
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vermillion sin
This bitter taste lurks inside my mouth where you've placed it, with your words of sympathy and your condescending tone. Sometimes I feel that you don't understand, or maybe it's just that your tongue is tangled up in knots again. This vermilion sin of lust that I've licked off your lips belongs to nobody now. It's all consuming, and I'm willing to sacrifice myself to it just to have some peace and quiet. I'm willing to open the flood doors and let it all come out, let you in, except that's not what you want at all. The emotions only seem to clutter the picture you're trying to paint, a scene of heaven composed of original sin and romantic ideals. Your mouth on mine silences all the things you say that get under my skin, but your tongue intertwined with mine creates a new form of torment under the guise of pleasure. The bittersweet taste in my mouth doesn't transfer to yours. It merely haunts me, reminding me of what I'll never truly have: your understanding.
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cross my heart by JadedOptimist cross my heart :iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 1 8 the Spill Canvas by JadedOptimist the Spill Canvas :iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 0 3 Breathing Chemistry shirt by JadedOptimist Breathing Chemistry shirt :iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 0 0 Sunday Driver shirt by JadedOptimist Sunday Driver shirt :iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 0 8 do not rot by JadedOptimist do not rot :iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 1 6
more to say
sometimes I wish I could tell you,
describe to you in painstaking detail
just why my heart skips a beat
every time I look into your eyes
the way the light glimmers off your glasses
as I lean in for a kiss or we linger for a second
too short in our embrace,
too long when we're apart
and the way your eyes light up,
accompanied by that dopey grin,
sends me spinning around in circles,
longing to make you smile again
words come to me, whole poems
composed upon my lips and impressed into yours
as our eyes meet just before they close,
just before our lips part
today I wanted to whisper into your inner recesses
that you occupy more than a place in my heart
I wish I could describe in words
what I'm dying to get out:
I can't tell you
quite as easily as you tell me
"I love you"
because I have so much more to say
:iconjadedoptimist:JadedOptimist 1 6
on writing
Just keep writing, he said to me. Write on and on, even if it doesn't make sense, every night until you feel that you're done. That's easy for him to say: he doesn't look at all the random words strung together to make a sentence like those wacky straw beads we had in kindergarten. Everything I write seems so fragile and small, alone despite being surrounded on all sides. The solidarity of the sentences cannot be overcome by the frequency in which I string the words together to form more. He wants me to assemble these meager displays of what all my talent comes to. This is not fruitful, or kind, or fair. All I feel like is an anonymous hack trying my best to get my point across on an underground website only a few diehard fans read. I have no fans. Nobody sees my writing, because he told me not to share it. Anonymous people in an anonymous café drinking nondescript tea and reading anonymous poetry… That's all that he wants me to envision in my head: the epitome of anonymi
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starlit night
tonight is a gorgeous starlit night and all I want to do is sit outside and gaze up into the vast canvas forever. everything sparkles and shines with an otherworldly light and nothing has the dull residue of everyday life. up there, among the glowing balls of fiery passion, dreams still come true. with all these stars tonight, I can make a thousand wishes that all will come true for somebody else. I wish we all could have happily-ever-after endings. while I'm waiting for the magic, I can play connect-the-dots and see shapes nobody else has ever seen before. among the well-known constellations are the intricacies that form the cosmic balence holding our lives together. somewhere up there, among all the stars, is a hole where my stars are supposed to be. I'll just keep scanning on the horizon until I see them, but in the mean time, tonight is a gorgeous starlit night and all I want to do is sit outside and ponder the meanings held within their celestial opera. their songs whisper melodic
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Hell's waiting room
Greeting from the not-so-plushy chairs of Hell… er, the auditorium. Seriously, they're really uncomfortable. I have no idea how I managed to take a nap in one. Plus, the attached "desks" are at such a weird angle that you have to sit sideways to write. On the bright side, I have a fantastic view of the wall. This is what tax dollars go to: FCAT torture sessions. At least I was smart and brought my mp3 player. Today feels a little like a tangent day, which would mean that I'm talking in circles. It does make sense. After all, I'm in Hell… er, the auditorium. This place is a little creepy. It would probably be less creepy if half the junior class had actually passed the FCAT and therefore been sent here. I've been told that the tortures administered in Hell were absolutely atrocious, but never before have I heard about uncomfortable chairs, obnoxious people, and boredom being used in such a manner. I'm beginning to think that maybe the auditorium is actually Hell's waiting room and they'
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Wonderland Nights by tekimagic Wonderland Nights :icontekimagic:tekimagic 7 11 A Hope, A Sadness by Hollow-Phoenix A Hope, A Sadness :iconhollow-phoenix:Hollow-Phoenix 67 25 A Sign...? by Hollow-Phoenix A Sign...? :iconhollow-phoenix:Hollow-Phoenix 89 62 In Memoriam by Hollow-Phoenix In Memoriam :iconhollow-phoenix:Hollow-Phoenix 4 14 Pointless Indirection by Hollow-Phoenix Pointless Indirection :iconhollow-phoenix:Hollow-Phoenix 10 27 Stitched Together by ArtistsForCharity Stitched Together :iconartistsforcharity:ArtistsForCharity 97 13 I GAVE YOU MY HEART by Mersi I GAVE YOU MY HEART :iconmersi:Mersi 82 26 Hidden by Maceo-x- Hidden :iconmaceo-x-:Maceo-x- 186 222



two quarters & a heart down
United States
Current Residence: ...take your wings outside, you can't fly in here...
Favourite genre of music: anything with poetic lyrics and gorgeous instrumentation
Favourite photographer: anyone who can capture the wonder of the world
Favourite style of art: [photo manipulation][poetry][collage][photography]
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: mine. but only because I can control the music.
Shell of choice: seashell
Skin of choice: I feel as though I'm masquarading in somebody else's skin
Favourite cartoon character: [Death][Gir][Courage the Cowardly Dog][Tinkerbell]
Personal Quote: I keep looking to the sky, expecting rain to pour down and drown my upturned face. but yet, sunshine
I really don't post too much on this page anymore. it has reverted to its original status of fangirling.
right now my heart is in my photography. :iconshuttered-smiles: is the window to me right now.


Add a Comment:
Selenys Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2010   Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav on"Waiting for wonderland" :rose:
Only1Musa Featured By Owner May 21, 2010
Thanks !!!
Only1Musa Featured By Owner May 20, 2010
Thank you for the fav !
Kaede-Chi Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2010  Student
Hi! Thankyou very much for the fav. Xx
Selenys Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2010   Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav on"The fall" :rose:
phox Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2009
Thanks so much for all the favs babe. :huge: I really appreciate it!
Selenys Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2009   Digital Artist
Hello !

Thank you very much for the fav on " Lost control " :rose:
donaldsfan Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2009
no biggie. im almost out of here. home to texas.
samydelrio Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2009
Miss-Sarawr Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave <3
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